and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just sent this text using only my big toe
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
