i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
