There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
