i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
