JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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