so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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