And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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