Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize