If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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