We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
