We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
