Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
only you would photoshop your dick
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
