I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
