My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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