Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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