i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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