I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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