My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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