quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
