I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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