At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
do nipples grow back?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
