When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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