The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize