So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
