So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
