38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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