Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
