I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
