I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
