she smelled like a LAN party
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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