I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
