Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize