hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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