Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
