he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I want is dick and wine.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
