I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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