So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
