You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
