Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
