Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im holly from the hills drunk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
