Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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