i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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