Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
