she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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