I am puke
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
