Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
