if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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