Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
