i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
