In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
