can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize