im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
