You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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