he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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