Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
