doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
