I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
