Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
