She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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