ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
