with your own penis?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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