At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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